


Converse

by Aieika



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Humor, Awkward Conversations, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Manga Spoilers, Other, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 19:19:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1522565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aieika/pseuds/Aieika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was something seriously wrong with Armin- and unfortunately Levi is the only person qualified to deal with it, and of course Hange misinterprets everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Converse

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for chapter 53. 
> 
> There is not enough fanfiction out there that deals with Armin getting molested so this is my attempt on what happened... with a little LeviHan thrown in the mix.

There was something seriously wrong with Arlert.

 

Not that there wasn't something seriously wrong with each and every one of the people he associated with (himself included) but this was wrong even for him. Arlert had become quieter in a way that was just not normal for the brat. Sure he was naturally soft spoken and didn't usually go out of his way to make conversations with people, but he was avoiding everyone that usually started conversations with him.

 

Arlert was more like the commander then Levi really liked so he knew that this was a sign of emotional distress that went well beyond the usual threshold for the Survey Corp, and that was saying something. Chances are, the kid knew exactly the affect his emotions could have on others and Arlert was a person that was flat out done with being a burden.

 

When Erwin got this way Levi knew that the only way to deal with it was to let it physically vent out. Levi would take Erwin to the middle of nowhere for "private training time," which everyone assumed was rough sex, but really was just him and the commander beating the living shit out of each other. It wasn't even real, practical martial arts because normally Erwin would never be able to land a solid strike on Levi, he was just too fast and too used to larger opponents. They would strip down to their pants and wrap their knuckles to avoid splitting them. They avoided face shots and didn't block nearly as often as they should; receiving punches relished just as much as giving them.

 

He doubted this would be helpful to Arlert though. Erwin and him were near physical equals when it came to this type of fighting. Arlert was not nearly as physically capable, nor was he expected to have even close to the amount of control as Erwin needed to have. If Arlert needed to punch a wall in order to vent he could, it didn't matter who saw or heard. A slip in control like that for Erwin would be enough to cause a ripple in Corps. trust in him. Erwin more than anyone had to remain totally emotionally in control at all times.

 

That being said, Arlert was too much like the Commander for Levi to be able to just brush off his emotional state and let him deal with it. Arlert had more influence with the younger soldiers then one might think upon first looking at him. Arlert was brilliant and his words and ideas were all considered seriously and intently. If Arlert thought he was unable to compartmentalize whatever this was, then that made one of their best potential strategists useless. They needed all the resources they could get.

 

Unfortunately, it looked like Levi was the only one qualified to help with the problem. Erwin was nowhere near them, and between him and Hanji... well he was more empathetic and had more tact, which was seriously saying bad things about Hanji's abilities to read and comfort people correctly. Hanji was so efficiently compartmentalized that she had a problem with understanding people in the moment that they need her too. He, however, was really good at understanding people, he usually just didn't care enough to do anything with it. After a while his blunt honesty, crude humor, and cynical world view became more of a comfort to his comrades than anything else. He was humanities strongest, but his personality and quirks made him human. It made others more okay with keeping their own personalities intact and not becoming just another cog in the machine of war.

 

That is how he found himself dragging Arlert with him into the forest with a book on medicinal herbs and roots. They needed them anyways and it was a good way to get Arlert away from the group long enough to figure out what was wrong with him and how to fix it.

 

Turned out he didn't even need to push.

 

"Thanks for getting me away from everyone. I knew you would do something like this eventually," Armin said in such a way that made Levi think that perhaps the little twerp had actually _manipulated_ him into doing this in the first place.

 

"So does that mean you are not going to struggle and tell me what the hell's up and why you couldn't just tell me you needed to get out?" Levi said with his usual rough tone, knowing that acting gentle was usually the _last_ thing anyone who was actually seeking comfort from him wanted. If you wanted gentle you go to someone like Erwin or Petra, not him.

 

"Well... I didn't want to be overheard and this is really awkward for me, and you were the only one I could think of that wouldn't make it even more awkward, and I... I don't know how to react, or what is "normal" or what isn't-"

 

"Arlert. You're babbling," Levi cut him off.

 

"Right. Sorry... I guess I needed a guy who, you know, _knows things,"_ Arlert said while blushing and Levi suddenly knew _exactly_ what this was all about.

 

"This is about the creep that molested you," Levi said deadpanned.

 

"Well yes... and no," Armin said hesitating, his hands were wringing together and he was staring so intently at a single blade of grass as if it held all the answers to the fucking universe. If Levi was reading Arlert right, and there was no way he couldn't be, Levi was being asked about goddamn sex.

 

"Then you should probably get on with it."

 

"Do you find this awkward?" Armin asked nervously, finally looking at him through is bangs, head still down.

 

"Of course I fucking do. However I have had some pretty mortifying-ly awkward moments while actually participating in sex, so I doubt a little awkward conversation is going to kill me so let's get on with it," Levi scoffed.

 

"Right," Armin said blushing, though it seemed Levi's mention of his own sex life helped a little. "So um, I guess I should just... start."

 

"Yeah, you should."

 

So Armin told him. Told him about the man that tried to feel him up when he was pretending to be Krista. Told him that until that moment he had never really thought much about sex. He found the mechanics of reproducing interesting enough, but he really didn't have time to worry about things like that.

 

"So what?  You don't jack off?" Levi asked mildly as if he was asking about the weather.

 

"N-No, I d-do," Armin stuttered out. "I just do it to... you know..."

 

"Release the tension?"

 

"Yeah," Armin responded with a faraway look in his eye. "I'm a freak aren't I?"

 

"Why would you say that?" Levi asked confused. It wasn't that uncommon for kids in his situation to feel like that. In fact it usually was one extreme or that other; some wanted more sex then was probably healthy and others couldn't care less.

 

"Because that guy... he said he used to be "normal" before he met me. He wanted me to "take care of him." Jean took over for me, but I was so scared and felt so vulnerable... and now I think about s-sex a lot. I feel like a freak because now I am really curious about it, and I didn't want him too-but now I want to try- and I don't-"

 

"You don't understand what is happening to you because you suddenly have a libido and that started after some creep took sexual interest in you."

 

"Yeah... I mean I didn't want-"

 

"I know. What you need to realize first is that sex is confusing, especially during and just coming out of puberty. People who take sexual advantage of others, especially those that are inexperienced, take advantage of biological responses that their victim has no control over. Being aroused doesn't mean you want it, it just means your body is reacting to stimulus, like how you can't help your balls from shrinking in the cold."

 

Armin blushed but he nodded.

 

"This was probably the first time you've ever felt sexually vulnerable too right?"

 

Armin nodded again, "yeah, I never thought anyone would ever try anything like that since I was... you know... a guy. But I guess since I- well-"

 

"Look I know what it's like."

 

"What?"

 

"I know what it's like to be fucking taken advantage of. How old do you think I am?"

 

"Um, you would have to be in your 30s at least-"

 

"Would you peg me as thirty something if you just saw me on the street?"

 

"N-no. I would probably put you in your early to mid 20s."

 

"Imagine what I looked like when I was a fucking teenager. I grew up in the underground of central city. I was a fucking pretty boy. I was twelve the first time some creep tried something with me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. That's why I started training myself up in the first place. However I needed to eat, and sex pays, that is how I fed myself until my voice dropped and I wasn't as appealing to my customers. By then I was physically strong enough to  join a gang and didn't have sex again until I was twenty. The thing I remember most about that time period was how my "clients" would tell me how "dirty" I was. I never wanted to be dirty again. It's a habit I still haven't dropped."

 

"So... you were-"

 

"A fucking whore. Money meant food and it didn't matter after that."

 

"That's awful."

 

"Yeah but it happened. It messed me up."

 

"Do you think it's... weird that I might like guys?" Armin asked quickly.

 

"Shit no. I, for one, don't give a flying fuck about gender myself. I care about trust. I don't do casual relationships, mostly because I will freak out if I try it with someone I don't have a strong bond with."

 

"Why are you telling me all this?" Armin asked a little like he was in awe and a little like he was nauseous.

 

"Because I learned after a long time that it wasn't my fault. I did what I had to, and my past is in the past. I am not ashamed of my sexuality anymore, and I don't want you to go through anything close to what I did."

 

"Okay. I think I understand Thanks Corporal I feel li-"

 

"LEEEEEEVVVVVVIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!" Armin jumped nearly a mile as Hanji came rushing into the clearing they were in, cutting him off from whatever sappy thing he was going to say.

 

"What do you want shitty-glasses?" Levi asked turning to face her.

 

"I was just wondering if you could also look for-" she cut herself off looking at the baskets in their hands. Neither of them had a single herb in them. "What were you two doing out here all this time?"

 

"Nothing that you need to know." Levi said, hoping that she would drop the subject. This was between him and Arlert and as much as he trusted Hanji, he needed Arlert to trust him to keep his confidence.

 

"Nothing I- Levi are you... are you and Armin-" She cut herself off looking from Arlert to Levi. It was then that Levi realized that Armin was blushing and looked mortified, as if he had been caught in some unholy debauched act. Before he could say anything Hanji turned sharply away. "I- I understand you know. I'll just be- be going now." Hanji had that tone that said that she was trying her best not to be physically violent, and that she was really, _really_ hurt.

 

"Look Hanji that's not what-"

 

Hanji cut him off, "I can't do this." She says and she starts to bolt and before he can move and before Hanji can get far, Armin is suddenly already in front of her both hands on her shoulders to stop her from going forward.

 

"Look. There is nothing going on. Corporal was helping me work through a really embarrassing problem I'm having, and if what I am guessing is true, he must really trust you, so you need to trust him back."

 

"Trust- wha- OH! You told-? Oh. OH! Armin! Are you okay? Did something happen? Do I need to knife anyone for you? Oh God!"

 

"It's fine Hanji. I think I'll be alright now. Please just talk to Corporal." Armin said pushing on her shoulders again. Hanji turned sharply towards him.

 

"Oh God, Levi! I am so sorry. I didn't mean-" Levi looked at Hanji. She looked so sincere, and yes he was hurt that she would jump to such extreme conclusions but she was human, just like him, and although she was great at reading him, It was Arlert she had misinterpreted, and Arlert had looked like he had just been caught masturbating or something. She looked down and took a step backwards as if she was ready to be sent away. He rolled his eyes.

 

"Shitty-glasses," he muttered approaching her not caring that Arlert was still right there. Arlert looked thoughtful though, as if just realizing for the first time that adults didn't have all this figured out either. He supposed that since Arlert had earned his trust enough to learn about some of his own demons, he didn't care that the brat saw him being affectionate. So he wrapped his arms around Hanji, secretly enjoying the safety he felt tucked under her chin with an ear to her breast listening to her heart beat. Hanji returned the embrace immediately, knowing that Levi liked being tucked in like this, that he enjoyed being enveloped and that his trust was absolute when he was like this.

 

He never noticed Arlert leaving, smiling to himself about cute and stupid adults. If Levi could find someone to trust like that, he shouldn't have any problems either.    

 

 


End file.
